When you don’t have dental insurance, a toothache can be tolerable for a long time.

So, this is the kind of biker I am NOT.

-I am NOT the kind of biker that rides a Harley, has a big burly mustache, wears a bandana and leather vest, rev’s their engine when leaving a stoplight, and is perpetually frowning. No, this type can be slightly intimidating and I have never been referred to as intimidating in my life. Neither do I have an engine to rev.

-I am NOT the kind of Twin Cities biker that walks in to Chipotle, orders, sits down, eats, AND uses the restroom…all while still wearing their helmet. 

-I am NOT the kind of biker that has a pretty rose-colored bike with a wicker basket, wears skirts and delicate scarves, whose hair blows in the wind, and is perpetually smiling. It’s difficult for me to smile while pedaling up hills and my bike is blue and yellow (yes, as in Swedish colors.)

-I am NOT the kind of biker that wears gloves and spandex with cool logos and bright colors that all match their shoes and don’t stop at stop signs and treat their bike like their eldest child and like to speed past the poor souls on their blue and yellow bikes who just haven’t gotten quite up to speed yet. 

Anyway.

May I walk you through the decision process I have been taking the last few months regarding my future? I’m slightly proud of myself for really taking my time on this decision. I mean REALLY taking my time. As in, it’s been a reaaaaally long time. I decided I didn’t want to put words in God’s mouth and say, “I think He’s calling me here or there” without being 100% sure. You know, it’s slightly exhausting to constantly being weighing the options in the back of my mind, and feeling the heaviness of having to commit one way or the other, especially since with every decision stem ten more small ones. But I’m NOT anxious about it.

You may remember last time when I was talking about Moody. All the doors seemed to be leading to there. I applied and got accepted, which is an honor and a blessing. I could get my degree, be in Chicago (closer to my wonderful family,) be in a conservative Christian education environment (without the average Christian education prices,) and get some good experience. 

HOWEVER. Here I am, in the Twin Cities, surrounded by diversity. I’m already teaching an English class to Spanish-speakers, which has opened up SO many opportunities and connections. There is an opportunity to work with a Hispanic church. Several girls from church are getting a house together and happen to have extra space. I have learned a lot about ministry, leadership, the Spirit, and reaching out to others through my time in Ecuador, the apprenticeship I’ve been involved with at my church, and from Jean. What is better education than hands-on experience? I feel called into ministry, and time is short. We need to be VERY deliberate and intentional with how we spend our time AND money…it almost seems selfish to go to school. Especially at a school where my new growth spurts in the gifts of the Spirit might be less than encouraged? If I put on my “eternity vision” lenses, what would be the most beneficial to others around me? As the youth pastor at my church once said, “God’s dream for your life is for others, not just for you.” I know I can glorify God in any city, any country, any planet. I know He is with me to the end of the earth. I can serve Him in the classroom, in the desert, in the kitchen, in the janitor’s closet, in the jungle, in the snow, in the air, in the mountains, on the rooftops, in a cave. But what is His BEST for me? I want to be ON FIRE for Him. I want to be where He is working. 

As you can see, I am leaning towards staying in Minnesota. I have been praying about starting a summer “Digging into the Word/Praying in the Spirit/Discipleship AND Evangelistic” Bible study with the BCF 20-something females. I want to continue tutoring my English students through the summer. Cristo Vive camp is coming up quickly. I am so excited to spend a couple weeks with my family. I love to spend time with Jean and am grateful for having time with her and HER family. How is there time for school right now? I understand it’s important... I did apply to take some online courses and there are lots of programs for getting TEFL/TESOL certified, especially here in the Cities. 

So, there ain’t no flipping of a coin to get past this one. And I am trying not to be wishy-washy.

Praise God for His faithfulness. 

Simplificationized.

In Matthew 6, the author writes about not being anxious about "what we will wear, what we will eat." He might have been thinking about me when he wrote this passage, unknowingly. I am a girl trying to outgrow the immatureness of girlhood. I made a chart of what occupies a lot of my thinking-time and realized there are two things that hold a very discouragingly high percentage. Food and clothes. Now, I am definitely not anxious about having ENOUGH of these things. One peek into my closet space will assure anyone that I have no concerns about having something to wear. Another quick glance into the pantry and fridge of the Swenson household will remove any doubt of us starving. My struggle is not against anxiety, but of distraction. When my mind is aimlessly shuffling through the file cabinets of life, I end up planning meals and outfits. Really? Meals and outfits? Aren’t there a million other things that are far more important that I could spend my mind energy on? It’s a process of maturity, and it takes a great amount of discipline that I am just recently beginning to practice.

Basically I’m trying to simplify. If I were to wear the same outfit every day and eat the same food at every meal, that would free up SO much time and energy spent elsewhere. The more options I have, the more time I have to spend on making decisions. I should simplify things a little more, cut down on what’s available and there will be less time spend on making a decision. However, did you realize how complicated it is to simplify? How time-consuming it is?

The other day I was driving on 35W, minding my own business. I passed a semi-truck, no drama there. I turned up the music. Suddenly, the truck was blaring his horn at me. I had drifted slightly into his lane directly in front of him. He was warning me, “Move it or lose it, sister.” I was slightly annoyed. “Don’t get yer undies in a bunch, amigo. I got this.” Then it turned into a life lesson. Has anyone else ever been annoyed when someone tried warning them of danger? I’m not talking like falling-off-a-cliff danger. I’m talking like…gentle reminders that we need to be careful about the type of movies that we are watching…caution about the health issues of smoking…wise but slightly brutal “advice” about being careful about the guys I choose to spend emotions on. I don’t know about you, but that will warning is invaluable. It may feel constricting. It may not flow with the general mood of life at the moment. It may even feel insulting. But I definitely prefer to get honked at than get run over by the semi.

Still in the decision process. Thought I was done but God always is up to something...

Thank you, God, for the adventures of life!